The end of a tough rally season approaches with - as I write this - only one national rally left on the calendar. If the established formula for the Nationals has begun to seem a bit monotonous in the UK then there wasn't until recently very much option for largish events (over 400 people) with something different on offer..

The NSRA's Santa Pod and Avon Park events were the first for years where a constant barrage of scooter based and other activities were offered in the day time to make up for the fact that you are stuck in a field in the middle of nowhere. The first Santa Pod was probably one of the best UK events I've been to, no doubt assisted by the fantastic weather essential for the success of a real outdoor based event like that. Somehow though, quite astoundingly as far as I'm concerned, subsequent events at Avon park seem to be poorly attended despite the addition of bands and many other events into the formula.

Last year though, Colchester District Vespa and Lambretta Club put on their first Mersea Island Rally which was attended by 400 people showing that there is still a market for scooter based (rather than riding to a seaside town and not touching your scooter till you ride home) event, and with a fair bit of good press it is probably one of the few UK events that has had a better attendance this year than last.

550 turned up this year, though admittedly mainly from the South East. Last year's DVLC supplied write up for the event caused more than a little consternation in the NSRA camp resulting in a lively letter page for a couple of months as Jeff Smith quite rightly pointed out that the DVLC are not alone in organising this sort of inland event with Scotlands Coyotes having run their famous Farmyard Party successfully for years. Okay so the DVLC may not be the first, but the rally looked good value at a tenner including a free Paddy Smith (worth £3 if you are willing to pay Belgian prices).

We arrived much later on Friday than we had hoped, but it was a good trip up via the backroads from hell just to save the boredom of the A12. The signposting for the rally was absolutely abysmal, the flyer told you to look out for signs marked "DVLC" but instead tiny signs with Mersea Island Rally on in the sort of typeface sizes we use in Scootering were placed in unobtrusive places. They were okay in the day but at night lots of people got lost.

We received a friendly welcome at the gate along with the colour programme, a credit card entrance ticket with your name on and the Paddy Smith which inexplicably depicted what looked like a plain yellow 50 Special (inexplicable until the following day when we realised the Vespa was the raffle prize). We rode up to the camping area and right away the atmosphere was different.

Instead of going straight into the do as planned we took the opportunity - while we could hear all the same old Ska favourites playing (yawn) - to put the tents up while entertainment was supplied by the Screaming Dead S.C. (Southern branch) formation crashing team who were killing and falling off a pair of Vespas whose only crime in life had been to fall into the hands of these freaks. Everyone laughed and cheered as they flipped the poor scooters once again without anyone telling them to stop. Okay so it's dangerous and almost certainly illegal with the current laws but for as long as they were only hurting themselves and damaging their property then no gorilla was going to spoil everyone's fun.

Come to think of it, over the whole weekend I never saw anybody tell anyone else not to do anything which fostered the peaceful atmosphere without one spot of bother.The only upsetting incident came as we finished setting up home; a really pissed off Essex scooterist announced he was going home because his scooter had been vandalised. Paint stripper had been poured down the front of his specially painted T5 but he, like the organisers seemed pretty sure that this was a personal vendetta since only his bike had been singled out. It was a sour note to start the rally on with some cowardly (and probably car bound) tosser doing this instead of sorting out differences face to face. The DVLC are investigating whether their insurance will cover the damage.

We eventually made it into the do, held in a real spit-and - sawdust hall (literally) but full of familiar faces. Most were local but the odd few had made it from France, Belgium and Germany despite there being a run on in Northern France that weekend. The small hall was nicely crowded but the sawdust did make it difficult to dance.

Chaney was DJing most of the night until 2 am as he seems to be at most events I go to nowadays. It was only a week since we had last heard him play in Belgium and no matter who it was Djing by this time anyone would have been familiar with the DJ's playlist so it was no hardship at 2am to be thrown out to sit by a thumping great campfire near but not actually on the beach. Sadly the wandering sound system van of the previous year never materialised and with the unwise lighting of every bit of firewood at once left the crowd getting smaller as the fire died and the cold set in. You just can't tell a pyromaniac about conserving his combustibles can you? Even so it was really nice to have a warm focus making the site into a bit of a community rather than just a load of cold tents in a field.

I was rather surprised to find sunlight peeping in through the holes in the tent after the intermittent rain of the day before. I awoke to find Harry and Tony from Belgium disecting Harry's P200 motor several tents away. I have never, ever seen a clutch so utterly wanked in all my life. Every clutch plate had ears more bent and mushroomed than a Rugby forward, every rivet was worn to half it's thickness and sat in oval holes, the remaining primary drive plate was loose on all it's rivets, where the other one had gone was anybody's guess but several of the cush-drive springs had followed. Harry's solution was just to buy as few clutch parts as he could get away with from CJ. "What about the primary drive?" Well how about just leaving it with all it's springs hanging out and going on a 2-up tour of Scotland. Not before entering the beer and banana race of course. Rather you than me mate.

Breakfast was served in the school canteen- like comfort of the err... canteen. Ideal for a cheap, quickly served sit down breakfast for £2.50 if you're into fry ups.

The sun stayed out as the programme of events got underway. Apparently there was a swimming pool and an assault course available for use but I never saw anyone use either. The five a side tournament kicked off first but much more interest was generated by the scooter tug of war won by the two-up team from the Under Achievers SC.

A demonstration also took place with three wheelers, the Scooter Cross T5 sidecar outfit of the PRAT SC proving no match for the traction or towing ability of a very tidy Piaggio Ape van. The scooter jousting (read: pillow fighting) was a scream with lots of teams of two-up scooterists happy to attempt to bash each other senseless and drag one another off the scooters. The rules were the losers were the first team to have the passenger put his feet down as they rode either side of a wall of tyres, wildly flailing pillows. Best out of three sorted the finalists from each heat. In the end the contests became more improvised than a whole series of What's My Line with disarmed teams being chased round and round by their combatants. Finally victory was secured by one of the three bemasked teams from the East Kent Sovereigns. Talk about hedging your bets. Who was that masked marauder?

After a choice of lunches in the canteen or at the bar depending on inclination it was back into the sunshine for the beer and banana race won by a combination of Bod from Maidstone and Dave from the Surrey Spirits. Interest was heightened by the fact that a certain amount of racing was involved around a tiny course marked with tyres, so riding, as well as eating and drinking skill was tested.

Tug of war was won by all the fat Screaming Dead bastards and the DVLC fought off challenges to retain the football award for a second year. The one thing on the agenda there was no sign of was the "It's A Knockout" but at least it sounded like it might be good.

Finally the last item was the indoor (thankfully as the weather turned sour) Custom Show with several interesting new machines on show including the freshly painted Rhapsody in Chains chopper (as seen in AWOL) from the London from the London Vikings and a lovely fairinged street racer with a wild paint job that sadly won none of the truly lovely metal statuette trophies of a Roman on a scooter. The Romans founded Colchester as Britain's oldest town but if they had any sense they would have concreted over the whole of Essex and turned it into a big car park.

After the show there was a bit of a slack period before the do started and there was nothing to do as the rain set in. I suppose we were very lucky to get as much sun as we did, more rain could have easily ruined the whole event.

The do went on as before, but more packed and with a better atmosphere than Friday as the shufflers, wreckers and skankers got materials burned the night before, some donuts decided to burn a few of the stakes destined for the following day's Scootercross course. I suppose it was inevitable really, the price of having no security and no Police involvement but it's a shame people can't be trusted to use their heads when collecting firewood.

On Sunday morning the sun was out again and quite a few campers stayed on to watch the first few rounds of the year's last championship Scootercross event which neatly brought to an end a good well organised weekend. This sort of European style event has lots of potential but is so dependant on reasonable weather that it could easily become a disaster, I don't think it ever could or was intended to rival the UK's unique National rally scene but as a cheap friendly supplement to other things it's well worth going to for a laid back weekend.


TROPHY DETAILS
Football - Colchester DVLC (2nd year)
Tow - Screaming Dead SC
Yard of Ale - Andy (PRAT SC)
Scooter tow - Under Achievers SC
Scooter jousting - East Kent Sovereigns SC
Gymkhana - Dave & Phil
Best Club Member 1994 - Sue Prettyman
CUSTOM SHOW
Best Vintage - Blue Li Series 1
Best Cutdown/Chop- Rhapsody in Chains
Best Vespa - Aswad
Best Lambretta - Start Me Up (Red TS1)
Best of Show -Mellow Daze
Furthest Travelled Club - Vulcan SC (France)
Furthest Travelled Solo -Dave Rogers (North Derbyshire SC from Kendall)
Best Turned Out Club - Great Yarmouth Wasps SC
Winner of 125 Polini '50 Special' - Mr Chamberlain